The ambush of August 8, 2022: The fall of a wounded child

On August 8, 2022 at 11 AM, while I thought I was having a 1:1 with my manager via Zoom, I found myself in an ambush facing my manager, my N+2 and someone from human resources.

My blood ran cold. I understood. I remained frozen, paralyzed. I listened to what they had to say. My manager, back from vacation to learn he had to fire three people, hadn’t been allowed to warn us, under penalty of being fired himself. He said nothing. Dark expression. He was losing three members of his nine-person team.

That same evening, my account was blocked.

For 10 days, I didn’t get out of bed, I didn’t eat. I experienced the worst panic attacks of my life.

After 5 years of success and revenue growth from a few hundred thousand to several tens of millions, with many projects underway, I was far from suspecting what was going to happen to me.

They presented me with a severance agreement that I thought was inevitable, even if unfair, with clauses that prevent me from talking about it in detail.

I signed it, because I believed I had no choice, and in a state of shock, I didn’t know what else to do.

I would learn later from a colleague that involving a lawyer automatically increased the deal because they didn’t want to make waves. Too late.

After 2 weeks, I resumed the course of my life, at least I thought I did. While I convinced myself that I was fine, in reality I was sinking deeper, and my friends could see it. I couldn’t.

Much later, I would learn from a reliable source that I was « selected » because I was an Insurgent. A characteristic valued by our former CEO, a Simon Sinek fan, but which, obviously, poses a problem for bad leadership. Thus, the human resources person allegedly said on the phone: « You see, someone like Akim we couldn’t keep. When there were problems and we did nothing, he would go talk to the CEO or management and it would come back to bite us. » Of course, this will be forever impossible to prove. But given my contribution, one can assume that the layoff was a good way to get rid of a troublesome person.

For 18 months, I looked for a job. But as a self-taught person, 52 years old, without a degree or master’s, and in international competition with younger people, I failed. I gave up.

For 9 months now, I’ve been at the end of unemployment benefits, without income and without a job. However, my success allowed me to put aside what enables me today to feed myself and feed my dog without outside help, at least for a while.

For the 3rd anniversary of this fateful day, I decided to open up. To share. With a knot in my stomach, I relive this betrayal, this totally inhumane approach to proceeding, which, I think, corporates are used to.

In the meantime, I’ve taken control of my ADHD, I’ve discovered my complex PTSD (complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) linked to the violence of my childhood, accentuated by the insidious violence of toxic managers throughout my career, and I’m waiting for psychedelic-assisted therapy, an experimental approach that must be authorized by the OFSP.

What’s next?

• I’m having a van converted to live the vanlife, at least to test it, starting summer 2026
• Trained in coaching and NLP, with very rich experience in many fields, I aspire to create my company Nouvelle Ere, to accompany businesses and individuals in evolution, resilience and excellence

In the meantime, I develop plugins and other integrations, I take care of my dog, and my health.

On the outside, Akim is a very confident person, strong, reassuring, who has an answer to almost everything, and solves almost all problems.

On the inside, he’s a fragile child, with non-existent self-esteem, wavering confidence, suffering from very strong social anxiety that no one really suspects. King of masking, he always puts on a good face. It’s this child I must take care of if I want to be able to effectively help others.

As long as this child needs to be reassured by others, validated, to check that he’s doing right, and especially as long as he has the impression that he risks being rejected, or even dying if he makes a mistake, it’s unlikely that I can flourish in an independent activity.

The fight continues. Some days are harder than others. Today, I write. Tomorrow, we’ll see.

A New Era begins for me. To follow this rebirth, subscribe to my page: https://linkedin.com/company/nouvelleere